Skip to main content

Snippets of Story March '14


Katie at Whisperings of the Pen is hosting another writing snippets link-up.  Here are my recent snippets from BB and Ariana's Island.  (Dungeon is under a rewrite and I don't feel like I have anything clever to share from that project yet.)  So, without further ado, here are my snippets:
     Rab rubbed his cheek against her knee comfortingly and looked up at her with big eyes that seemed to say, ā€œMilk will make us feel better.ā€     ~BB

     Grimm’s eyes flew open.  For a moment, he did not know where he was.  Then his eyes landed on the ornate bedpost of the rotting frame he slept on, and he remember that he was banished to a dilapidated mansion in a remote area to care for a shamefully ill master.  Grimm groaned and rolled over.     ~BB

     A chicken stirred in the grasses, settling in for the night. Rab hissed at it. He was beginning to feel irritated with the world. ~BB

      ā€œBecause we will die,ā€ Grimm said.  ā€œIf we are found, we will all die.ā€  Grimm hated his position.  He hated being forced to hide away like a leper.  But that is where he was, and there was nothing he could do about it.  ā€œLock him up.ā€     ~BB 






     Willie buried his face in his knees and rocked harder, trying to make the sad thoughts go away.  He didn’t like sad thoughts.     ~BB

     Belle backed away from the clock.  Suddenly, the air felt ominous and a shiver ran up her spine.  That man knew something.     ~BB

     Belle tapped her foot against the solid iron bars, listening to the echoing ā€œpingā€ it created.  ā€œThere is always hope,ā€ she said, softly.  ā€œEven against great odds, a girl can have hope.ā€     ~BB

     Then the little boy sighed.  ā€œWill you play with me?ā€ he asked.  ā€œEverybody’s busy and I’m all by myself.ā€     ~BB

     Newel’s most painful flashback was a time when he had followed his older brother to a sword-fighting lesson.  Several times, in between sessions, Alton had glanced curiously at the small boy crouched in the shadows.  Finally, he turned to the boy and held out a sword. 

     ā€œCome give it a try, Newel,ā€ he offered, with an encouraging smile.

     Newel stared at the sword.  How often had he longed for lessons?  How often had he wished to earn that proud look that his brother often received from their father the king?  His little heart beat faster at the thought.

     But his heart was beating with fear, too.  He did not know how to use a sword.  And that sword looked frightfully heavy.  Newel knew exactly what would happen.  He would try to swing the sword, and he would make a fool of himself.  Everyone would laugh at him.  And that would be worse than the constant ignoring.     ~BB

     ā€œA fine party, sire,ā€ said a voice at his elbow.

     The duke glanced to see Dolan, the son of a nobleman.  ā€œIf only it weren’t spoiled by so many people,ā€ he said, sourly.  He took a sip of the wine, swishing it through his mouth before he swallowed it.     ~BB

     Ariana thumbed through the pages of her journal.  It was full – all the way to the dozen words scrawled in the space under the last line.  Ariana flipped to the first entry.

    ā€œI don’t know what to do.  God help me!ā€ it read.     ~Ariana's Island
 





     ā€œCochina?ā€ she called.  Far above her, she heard a piercing falcon call.  She shielded her eyes and searched the skies, but Cochina was too far away to be seen.     ~Ariana's Island
 
     But the squirrel paid her no mind.  He flipped his tail cockily as if daring the falcon to match her speed against his.  Boldly, he ran out onto a limb over Ariana’s head and scolded her again.  Tsk.  Tsk.  Tsk.     ~Ariana's Island
 
      Or maybe it was part of an evil smuggler’s ship.  A shiver ran down Ariana’s spine as she realized that the board may be associated with a more sinister source.  What if such a person discovered her island?
     It was unthinkable, and Ariana decided not to think about it.  She patted the board.  ā€œIt wouldn’t be your fault anyway,ā€ she consoled the piece of wood.  ā€œYou were only the boat.ā€     ~Ariana's Island



     P.S. Don't forget to enter your short story tomorrow! Read about it here: http://commandedwriter.blogspot.com/2014/04/approaching-anniversary-and-challenge.html
And post the link to your short story in the comments section of my April 12th post

Comments

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your snippets! I particularly enjoyed the snips from Ariana's Island. I love her spunk!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye and God Be With You

It's rather fitting that some things come to a close on this day -- the last day of the year. I submitted my last entry into the Rooglewood contest this morning.  I can hardly believe it took me until the day of the deadline to send it in because I'm usually earlier than that.  And, even with the extra time I took, I still felt a little bit like maybe I could have done better if I had more time. But there was no feeling of regret when I hit "send."  Mostly it was just a prayer that Rooglewood would hear the heart of the message when they read it and that maybe, if I win, they could help me bring the full potential out of my little story.  And there was also a feeling, after working on these stories for more than six months, that it felt good to close that chapter and move on to the next one. I did it.  I wrote them.  And I'm really proud of them. Last year, the act of hitting "send" on my contest entry catapulted me into an anticipatory state....

Rooglewood Countdown: 12 days

     For the next 12 1/2 days, as we do our final countdown until March 31st, I'm going to do 4 posts asking about something you would like to see in the Snow White collection.      There are so many ways all of us, writers and readers alike, can win in this contest.  Maybe a familiar name makes it into the final five -- hurray!  Maybe a story in your favorite genre ended up in the collection this year -- woohoo!  Maybe you finally get to read a winning story about an evil king and his Snow White son -- how awesome!      So, in celebration of all the many things we can root for, I want to know some of the things that you think would be cool to find in this year's set of winners.      Without further ado, here is my question for the day: What is a point of view you would like to see in this collection?  Would you like a story written from the prince's perspective?  A story from Snow White's p...

Wherein I Still Have My Nose and Ears

     I decided to take the plunge.  I was going to chop a plot thread out of AAM so the story would fit in the contest word length restrictions.  I saved my old version and set up a copy for me to modify.      Stories are like woven cloth.  Each plot thread is woven into the entire story.  So if I decide to cut a character or a side-theme, I have to go through the whole book, chopping out the references to it.  This leaves gaping holes and sometimes it looks like the whole story is going to unravel.  Everywhere I chop, I have to readjust the whole scene to keep the flow.  It's a rather ticklish procedure.      Over the dinner table, I mentioned that I was chopping a sub-plot.  My younger sister protested loudly (she hasn't read it, but I previously told her the general idea).  Then my mom (who also hasn't read it) offered to read it and tell me what she thought could and couldn't be chopped. ...