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Anti-Hope: A very real emotion

    Have you ever wanted something?  And you've wanted it so deeply and for so long?

    And then, against all odds, there is a whisper that it could happen this time?  Maybe instead of the expected rejection letter, you got a "we've taken your submission for further review."  Maybe a sudden source of income appears that may allow you to earn enough for horseriding lessons.  Maybe you find a nebulous symptom in your own body that hints at the possibility of a long-awaited pregnancy.  Whatever the case, you have that realization that your dreams COULD come true.

    And, instantly, anti-hope appears.

     What is anti-hope?  It is that emotion that springs up as a counter-balance to keep you from being too disappointed if your hopes are dashed again.

     Anti-hope says, "Don't get too excited.  'Further review' isn't the same as an acceptance.  They could still reject your story."  Anti-hope says, "You still might not earn quite enough for those lessons."  Anti-hope says, "That symptom doesn't necessarily mean that you are pregnant for sure."  Anti-hope immediately reminds you of the truth that your dreams might NOT come true.

     It's not depression.  It's not telling you that you'll NEVER get an acceptance letter, or earn enough to ride horses, or have a baby of your own.  It's just a little voice that tries to provide balance, just in case things don't work out yet.

     Anne of Green Gables talks about her soaring delights and the way that they almost made up for the "thud" at the end of the flight.  And Marilla talked about the benefits of plodding steadily along, without the flying or thudding.  I think anti-hope just provides a little weight so that you don't fly quite so high...and hopefully don't "thud" quite as hard.

     For me, the harder I  want something, the quicker my hopes spring up at the tiniest sliver of light, and the quicker my anti-hope springs into action to cushion my coming fall.

     And it's a very real emotion.  I  can feel it.  I can sense its gentle cautionary touch.

     Sometimes, when we write our characters, we have to look for these very real emotions that aren't normally listed.  If you ask someone to list emotions, they will quickly give you "fear, anger, sadness, joy, disgust..." but no one mentions anti-hope.  And yet, it's these very real responses that make our characters seem more real.

     I fell in love with several of the Penslayer's (Jenny Freitag) characters because they have a wealth of these anti-emotions that make them seem so much more real to me.  And I think that writers often have a tendency to leave them out -- to stick with the more easily defined reactions.  But we shouldn't.  Humans are complex, and our writing should reflect that.  Don't be afraid to delve into the way our responses work.

     So, after all of that, tell me: what are some emotional responses in your own life that add complexity to your thought processes?  And how have you used these hard-to-define reactions to deepen your characters in your stories?

Comments

  1. I know this feeling well! Definitely going to try to add more of those anti-emotions to my own characters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't forget to include the reactions of actual acceptance letters!!!!

      Delete

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