Skip to main content

Snippets of Story March '14

Katie at Whisperings of the Pen is hosting another writing snippets link-up.  Here are my recent snippets from BB and Ariana's Island.  (Dungeon is under a rewrite and I don't feel like I have anything clever to share from that project yet.)  So, without further ado, here are my snippets:
     Rab rubbed his cheek against her knee comfortingly and looked up at her with big eyes that seemed to say, “Milk will make us feel better.”     ~BB

     Grimm’s eyes flew open.  For a moment, he did not know where he was.  Then his eyes landed on the ornate bedpost of the rotting frame he slept on, and he remember that he was banished to a dilapidated mansion in a remote area to care for a shamefully ill master.  Grimm groaned and rolled over.     ~BB

     A chicken stirred in the grasses, settling in for the night. Rab hissed at it. He was beginning to feel irritated with the world. ~BB

      “Because we will die,” Grimm said.  “If we are found, we will all die.”  Grimm hated his position.  He hated being forced to hide away like a leper.  But that is where he was, and there was nothing he could do about it.  “Lock him up.”     ~BB 

     Willie buried his face in his knees and rocked harder, trying to make the sad thoughts go away.  He didn’t like sad thoughts.     ~BB

     Belle backed away from the clock.  Suddenly, the air felt ominous and a shiver ran up her spine.  That man knew something.     ~BB

     Belle tapped her foot against the solid iron bars, listening to the echoing “ping” it created.  “There is always hope,” she said, softly.  “Even against great odds, a girl can have hope.”     ~BB

     Then the little boy sighed.  “Will you play with me?” he asked.  “Everybody’s busy and I’m all by myself.”     ~BB

     Newel’s most painful flashback was a time when he had followed his older brother to a sword-fighting lesson.  Several times, in between sessions, Alton had glanced curiously at the small boy crouched in the shadows.  Finally, he turned to the boy and held out a sword. 

     “Come give it a try, Newel,” he offered, with an encouraging smile.

     Newel stared at the sword.  How often had he longed for lessons?  How often had he wished to earn that proud look that his brother often received from their father the king?  His little heart beat faster at the thought.

     But his heart was beating with fear, too.  He did not know how to use a sword.  And that sword looked frightfully heavy.  Newel knew exactly what would happen.  He would try to swing the sword, and he would make a fool of himself.  Everyone would laugh at him.  And that would be worse than the constant ignoring.     ~BB

     “A fine party, sire,” said a voice at his elbow.

     The duke glanced to see Dolan, the son of a nobleman.  “If only it weren’t spoiled by so many people,” he said, sourly.  He took a sip of the wine, swishing it through his mouth before he swallowed it.     ~BB

     Ariana thumbed through the pages of her journal.  It was full – all the way to the dozen words scrawled in the space under the last line.  Ariana flipped to the first entry.

    “I don’t know what to do.  God help me!” it read.     ~Ariana's Island

     “Cochina?” she called.  Far above her, she heard a piercing falcon call.  She shielded her eyes and searched the skies, but Cochina was too far away to be seen.     ~Ariana's Island
     But the squirrel paid her no mind.  He flipped his tail cockily as if daring the falcon to match her speed against his.  Boldly, he ran out onto a limb over Ariana’s head and scolded her again.  Tsk.  Tsk.  Tsk.     ~Ariana's Island
      Or maybe it was part of an evil smuggler’s ship.  A shiver ran down Ariana’s spine as she realized that the board may be associated with a more sinister source.  What if such a person discovered her island?
     It was unthinkable, and Ariana decided not to think about it.  She patted the board.  “It wouldn’t be your fault anyway,” she consoled the piece of wood.  “You were only the boat.”     ~Ariana's Island

     P.S. Don't forget to enter your short story tomorrow! Read about it here:
And post the link to your short story in the comments section of my April 12th post


  1. Thanks so much for sharing your snippets! I particularly enjoyed the snips from Ariana's Island. I love her spunk!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Guest Post by Emily!

Character Creation by Emily Ann Putzke
My character in Ain’t We Got Fun is Georgiana (Gi) Rowland, the older sister of Bess. Their family is struggling during the Great Depression, so Gi takes off for NYC to make a fortune and help them out. The sisters recount their adventures, joys and heartaches to each other. My co-author, Emily Chapman, and I wrote this story in letter form in January. Our characters are very different people! Here are a 5 things that helped me bring Gi to life, and give her a personality that’s all her own.
1.  Give Your Characters Flaws None of us are perfect, so our characters shouldn't be either. Gi is a fun, loyal, light hearted girl with big dreams. But she has a flaw that she struggles with throughout the entire story. Pride. She’s very stubborn, independent, and doesn’t want anything from anybody.
2. Use That Flaw to Stretch and Change Your Character Pride gets Gi in quite a few scrapes. Throughout AWGF, she’s constantly battling with it. Everytime she thi…

Is that a catastrophe happening, way over yonder?

The next scene in my story is meant to be an important one.  Readers get to meet the dwarves in their own evil lair.  My heroine is tormented for their selfish purposes.  Big scene.

     But when I started writing it, it looked incredibly detached and boring.  "Yeah, look over there.  See those dwarves by the table?  They are tormenting our heroine.  Very sad.  The cottage is cute, though."  The scene just wasn't working.  And my story has been sitting in stasis awaiting inspiration.

     Last night, I flopped on the floor to daydream and snuggle my dog.  For a while, I let my mind wander here and there.  But gradually I came to my senses and realized that the first thing I felt on "awaking" was the hard floor.

     Suddenly, I was Moriah, regaining consciousness.  Hard floor.  Noises.  Light.  Hands on my hair.  And the scene came alive for me.  I could hardly wait to get up and start writing again.

     So, if your scene is too detached, try lying on the…

Rooglewood Countdown: 9 1/2 weeks: Why Yours?

Yep, time is picking up speed.  Especially since I have other things to keep me busy.
     Here is my questions for you today: what makes your story special?  In the comments below, I want you to finish this sentence "It's a Snow White story, but..."  Did you change the setting?  Is Snow White the ugliest in all the land?  How did you swap out the elements of your story to make it unique?