Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Sleep-Deprivation and Planetary Origins

     Forty-six.  That's how many hours I had just gone without sleep in the past two days.  I was surprised I was still standing.
     Two births, back to back, had the team exhausted.  Now we were done -- free to go home as soon as we put clean sheets on the bed. Ruth, with her blonde hair and modest, white headcovering stood across from me, helping me spread the sheet over the bed.  Tiana, with her fun "hey, you know, whatever it is, I can take it" attitude, was beside me, stuffing pillows into fresh cases.
     Conversation, naturally drifted to the two things most on all of our minds: food and sleep.
     "I get very angry at everybody when I haven't eaten," Ruth closes her eyes into little fake-angry slits and pretends to glare at imaginary figures.
     "Oh, yeah, I'm totally like that, too," Tiana confirms, smacking a bit of fluff into submission with one decisive blow.
     "My husband, on the other hand, is surprised that food and sleep are so important to me," I begin.
     Ruth huffs in exasperation.  "I know people like that!  I always look at them and say..." (she picks me as substitute target, raises her eyebrows at me, and clearly and pointedly enunciates each next word) "...'You were born on Uranus.'"
     I instantly understand that she is accusing them of coming from a different planet.  And my mind praises her for picking a more unique and remote planet than Mars.
     ...At least...I THOUGHT she was talking about a planet.  Oh, my!  What if she wasn't talking about a planet?  Does she have any idea what she just said?!
     I cast a glance over at Tianna and see the uncertain look on her face.  She's thinking the exact same thing I am.
     Ruth sees our expressions.  "What?  What's the matter?  Did I say something...OHHHHHHHH!"  Her face turns bright red.
     It's too much for me.  I haven't slept in days.  I spin around and keel into the wall, unable to breathe for laughing. Ruth and Tianna do the same thing.  Somehow the fact that such a phrase accidentally came out of Ruth's mouth makes it even funnier.  And I'm just thinking about what would happen if we actually repeated this elsewhere.
      Soon, Ruth and I are howling with laughter, tears pouring down our faces. 
     Tianna, by this time, has recovered from the initial humor and has settled into just an amused look on her face.  To be honest, the fact that Ruth and I have lost control of ourselves has probably surpassed the humor of the planets.  From the other room, I hear our senior midwife calling out "You girls are punchy!  You need to finish up and get some sleep!"
      "I didn't even think of how that would sound," Ruth gasped through her laughter.  "I was just trying to think of a cool planet."
      "Uranus is not even a planet." Tianna says.
      "Yes it is!" Ruth protests.
      "It's not a cool planet."
      "Yes, it is!"
      ", Saturn is a cool planet.  Saturn has rings.  What does Uranus have?" Tianna says.
      I lose it again.
       Tianna throws a glare at me.  "Don't answer that."
       I recover from my latest outbreak and shake my head in wonder.  "You mean you just randomly thought of a planet in this very minute and popped out with this one?"
      She looks sheepish.  "Yes."  She still can't believe she said something so easily taken the wrong way.  She's still laughing, and she presses a hand into her abdomen.  "I think I just grew two new abs with all that laughing."
       I gasp and shove a thumb into my side.  "Yeah, me, too."
       We look at each other and shake our heads.  I still have tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard.  "We really need to go to bed."


  1. Okay, that's super funny!! Sounds like my sisters and I!!

  2. Sleep deprivation makes people crazy :D

  3. Oh my! This is hilarious! The most entertaining things happen when you're slap happy.